I AM NUMBER FOUR

I'm obsessed with anything that is about the human personality. I suppose that studying the human personality is a form of self-discovery and will eventually lead to self-actualization (Mr. Maslow emphasized the importance of it). When you begin to understand yourself, you also begin to understand others and how they are different from you and life becomes more peaceful.

Last year, my cousin introduced me to Florence Littauer's Personality Plus book. I talked about it a little in this post (See No. 9). I liked it so much. It has become my "personality bible" since then. I even begged my cousin to give it to me haha. The book is now actually being passed around my circle of friends because I've been encouraging them to read it too. It certainly helped me understand myself more and I've become more tolerant to people who do not have the same personality with mine.

I was identified as a Sanguine in that test. To summarize, the Sanguine temperament is:

impulsive and charismatic
tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends
tend to be boisterous
quite creative and often have many ideas
struggle with following tasks all the way through
chronically late
to be forgetful
sometimes a little sarcastic
often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun
they are very much people persons
they are talkative and not shy
warmhearted, lively and optimistic
they have been called "people-oriented extroverts"

Now I've come across this Enneagram test while riffling through one of my favorite blogs, Nothing Spaces. Enneagram sounds too foreign for me. I don't remember it being mentioned in our General Psychology class. Needless to say,  I was curious and took the test. (You can take it HERE.)

As it turned out I am a Type 4 (The Individualist):

Enneagram Type 4 - The Individualist

Identity seekers, who feel unique and different

People of this personality type tend to build their identities around their perception of themselves as being somehow different or unique; they are thus self-consciously individualistic. Fours tend to see their difference from others as being both a gift and a curse - a gift, because it sets them apart from those they perceive as being somehow "common," and a curse, as it so often seems to separate them from the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy. Thus, Fours can manage to feel superior to others while also secretly harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a member of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deep feelings of shame, and fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.

Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to withdraw in the face of a world that seems harsh or crude, and are often somewhat moody or temperamental. They are emotionally centered and spend much of their lives immersed in their internal mental landscapes, where they feel free to cultivate and analyse their feelings. A desire to manifest this internal world often leads Fours to an interest in the arts, and some do become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most Fours are aesthetically sensitive and concerned with self-expression and self-revelation, whether it be in the clothes they wear or in the overall nature of their often idiosyncratic lifestyles.

Fours are somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend to lapse into depression. They also tend to be self-absorbed, even under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way to a self-indulgence which they perceive as being fully justified as a way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in their lives. Rather than look for practical solutions to their difficulties, Fours are prone to fantasizing about a savior who will rescue them from their unhappiness.

Intellectual Fours tend to mistakenly type themselves as Fives, and a heavy wing can certainly exacerbate this tendency. Fours however, unlike Fives, tend to be self-revealing and comfortable with emotional expression.

I have a mixed feeling towards it. I'm surprised that most of it are really true but I was thinking it's a little contradictory to my Sanguine temperament. I was expecting I was more of a Type 7. But I realize I also have this other side. It dawned on me that this is exactly what I need to reveal about myself.

In my group of friends, I'm dubbed as Miss Korny (see post here). Corny not only because I throw the most nonsense jokes and punchlines but also because I can be deep and philosophical at the most inappropriate times. It rings true too that I am emotional. I have a huge thing for sentimentality and profound thoughts. Sometimes, I suppress showing it because I don't want to bore people. I'd rather make someone laugh. I don't want people to diss me as someone too mushy or too cliché even if deep inside, I really am.

I think Jennifer Love Hewitt's "Barenaked" song got it right:

Do you ever feel so deep
That you speak your mind
To put others straight to sleep
You wonder if anybody cares

Thankfully, I have friends that relent to me once in a while and they patiently listen to my pa-deep and profound musings. No wonder meaningful conversations (preferably over frappuccino) truly make me happy. This makes me think too that maybe it's my Type 4 personality that lures me into the art of writing. Hmmm...that explains.

There are still a lot of things I want to pinpoint and discuss. Yet at the same time, I'm still taking it all in. Finding out true things about yourself can be overwhelming, in my case at least. I can not translate further all my thoughts yet but I'm glad I found out this Enneagram thing today.

Try it too!

XX